Hey guys, just a quick entry because I felt like it.
Nice, relaxing, feel good day today. I devoted it to pampering myself and raising my self esteem just that little bit, it worked, too! The new photos of me are from today, too, and it's rare I feel confident enough to take snaps of myself nowadays, I've generally been feeling insecure about my self image lately... Just been comparing myself infavourably to other women, saying things to myself and on occaision, even other people, about how much better others look than I do and such, worrying about what those insenistive boys at school are going to say about my fringe on Tuesday when I go back (extra day off, score!!)..

But I've snapped out of it now... For now. Oh well, guess everyone has their moments. It was probably the PMT last time I had a "down phase". Easy to blame it on that, though. Either way, I'm fine now.

I compare my self esteem to a wave, it goes up and down with my moods.. It rises up dramatically, then suddenly, it comes crashing down.. But when I'm down I remember how many obnoxious whistles I get when I'm out, the comments from strangers, acquaintances, friends, family and Ezra, just people.. The only place I actually get put down is school, but that's only a few people... Although, it only takes a few people to wreck something. Guess you just gotta do your best to dodge the nastiness and tactlessness, and remember that not everyone on Earth is going to think you're beautiful.

But I've always let words get to me, but that makes me think of something Ezra's told me.. "You don't let things happen, they just happen, what, if someone dies, are you going to say 'They only died because you let them?' you mayaswell be saying that if you say to people to not let things get to them." He has a point, although he somewhat misunderstands the phrase. Still, I take his point on board.

It's like his argument that the pronunciation of the years (2008 - two thousand and eight) is incorrect, and that we should say it as twenty-08, because we never said "In the year one thousand nine hundred and sixty eight" or anything, and "two thousand and eight" is just a waste of breath. If anyone, even television ads say it the "wrong" way, he's quick to correct them, shouting "TWENTY-08." as quick as he can. It's cute, and I say it the "correct" way too, but I've semi-given up on it. On convincing other people to do so, and if I feel it'll cause an argument, I'll say it the "wrong" way. I even got a good amount of people from school to say it the right way after explaining why, and some have taken it upon themselves to jab fun at me about it whenever, which is funny, 'cause they're my mates! But because of it I gave up. People can say it how they like, even though Ezra was dissapointed to hear I've given up on our little crusade. I think that Ezra's family friend's comment was what really changed it though, she said that "Hmm, yeah, it is right, but it'll never catch on, it's just not catchy enough.. But come 2010, they definitely should stop saying it how we normally say 2008." I took to this argument way more than Ezra's, as much as I hate to say it. Twenty-08 isn't very catchy, is it? The other way just sounds better. Of course I'll keep saying it, because it's a habit now. It's engraved itself into my vocab, lucky it'll only be all " What the?!" to other people for another year and a half, not even that. Oh, I'll also say it for Ezra's sake... I can't bear to put up with his constant corrections x_x Besides, I am for the argument.

I still admire Ezra's determination, I think it's really cute. He claims it's grammatically correct and Wikipedia backs this up, but I haven't seen the info myself so I'm not backing that enitrely.

Anyways, you guys have fun, take care, and Sunday bloody Sunday...
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Comments (1)

  1. EasyToSay

    Hey Happy Sunday Bloody Sunday to you too.
    Loved reading this, and I had a look at your photo’s. You are a very beautiful girl, and I’ve decided I’m adopting you as my thoughts. ‘lil sis. So watch out you boys on here, don’t you mess with my little sister!!! lol.

    I’m sure you can take care of yourself though.

    I like the 20-08 thing, but you are right, only 20-10 will catch on…. lol.

    Have a great week back at school!

    July 13, 2008
  2. prelude2it

    Good post. I know it’s hard to think bout it this way but your looks on the outside are perfect just as they are. There is someone out there for everyone and although not everyone will think you are gorgeous, the person that is out there for you will.

    Have a great rest of your weekend!

    July 13, 2008
  3. Mezlie

    Awww, thoughts big sis! adopted I feel loved, aye. :P

    I reckon I can take care of myself, my mates reckon i’m very independant.

    Funnily enough, after I showed Ezra this blog he claimed I was “belittling” him and said my blog was all wrong.. Sigh.. Made me quite sad, slightly scared. He scares me when he gets angry, too! :P But he apologised, and said “Getting the point across isn’t worth scaring you” which didn’t exactly help.. He could’ve just stated his case properly instead of just attacking my blog and making ludicrous claims of things I didn’t mean at all..

    July 13, 2008
  4. Mezlie

    Prelude, thankyou! You’re so right, there’s always going to be someone who thinks you’re beautiful

    July 13, 2008
  5. EasyToSay

    No you didn’t belittle him, Infact it shows he is an in-depth thinker… absolutely. So tell him we think he is great, and enjoy hearing about his ideas and concepts… and hey they may even catch on in here …

    July 13, 2008
  6. Mezlie

    I told him that, he was extremely thankful He loves you all on thoughts, he needs to start an account here, I swear XD he’s a very skilled writer

    July 13, 2008
  7. EasyToSay

    Mez – you should seriously convince him to join. I’m sure he’d get a lot of readers, and let us all in on a few secrets! lol… Not about you, but about how men think

    July 13, 2008
  8. Mezlie

    Yeah, I should! I’ve proposed it to him, but he’s a fairly busy person, y’see.. Not sure if he’s overly keen on it, either.. But I’ll bring it up to him again tomorrow, when he gets back from school. I really want him to do this, too! :P

    July 13, 2008
  9. meredith

    Hey – I thought I was your big sis/protector!! Ok, I will share you with E2S…

    It is strange that we say “two thousand..” since we never said “nineteen hundred..” I admire Ezra’s determination too – very endearing.

    Finally, you are not alone with respect to your self esteem/confidence turning on a dime. Mine does as well, seemingly without any notice at all. Sucks, but I blame it on hormones.

    July 13, 2008
  10. Mezlie

    Ooooh, two big sisters!! Wheeee! :P

    July 14, 2008
  11. Mezlie

    But yeah, Meri, I guess you were but I guess because it was never confirmed.. :P It was more of a.. Silent agreement? :P Lol.

    And yeah… It is pretty much hormones, or lackthereof at the time.

    July 14, 2008
  12. Mezlie

    Thanks, BunnieMarie!

    Yeah, it seems everyone is insecure nowadays.

    July 21, 2008
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