Sluts - the annoying double standard

Lately, a somewhat random topic has been crossing my mind: The annoying double standard that men, when they are known to be promiscuous, are usually viewed as legends amongst their friends, and womanizers amongst some women, whereas when women are known to be promiscuous, are labeled "sluts" and are disrespected heavily by their community.

Although, I have seen a good example of a man being disrespected for being promiscuous (somewhat, in this case, anyway): at my own school, ieDirections, my ex boyfriend Alex, especially after dating me for an extreeeemely LONG 25 days (sarcasm, of course), got the label of womanizing man-whore fastened to his forehead. It was kind of known he was "that way" the previous year he was there, he'd tried it on a few different girls at the school alone, only one complying.

He, in his 16 years, has had well over a dozen girlfriends, most of them lasting a couple of weeks and the longest lasting 3 months, and that was his first. I thought I'd beat this record when I got with him, then I found out, after about a week, that he was an arsehole! :D

Alex, for awhile, ruled my school. He was the most widely accepted, social chameleon around. Everyone seemed to like him - until they found out how he treated women. Like disposable tissues, he uses them for what he thinks they're good for, decides they're no good anymore and chucks them out. That's been the case with by FAR the majority of his partners. Alot of the pupils at my school had an idea of how he treated women, but it didn't backfire so much until this year.

Now, he is not the social chameleon that fits in everywhere he was, he is now an outcast, no-one at all genuinely liking him at all. He hangs around with my friends, but he knows we all hate him. He's said this. He just hangs with us because we can tolerate him and his hyperactive, annoying, tactless, boisterous behavior, whereas the other 40 or so students just tell him to fuck off.

I'm definitely glad Alex got his comeuppens, but sadly, this isn't usually the case with notorious womanizers. I've noticed, that if they're men, their habits are sensationalized a whole lot less and/or accepted as the silly behaviour of a young man.

Now, if a girl had this kind of track record, she would be used at every given opportunity by men and hated by women. Why would the women hate her? Some would hate her for her lack of morals, some would claim they hate her for that reason, but are secretly jealous of how much attention she gets, and wish they themselves could get away with that kind of behaviour... But it's mostly the aforementioned reason, I find.

I've read in books that,  it's more accepted for men to be promiscuous because it would make sense that men have alot of women to impregnate - it helps the species survive. Whereas it doesn't make sense for a woman to have alot of men, as it doesn't help the species survive at all.

I think this holds a fair bit of truth, myself. Just, the double standard irritates me a fair bit. It doesn't really fit in with modern society, human biology is dangerously outdated. Men are programmed to be promiscuous as a survival mechanism, this does not sit well in modern society at all, with overpopulation and social standards inflicted by society. 

I read about this in a book called "Why men don't listen, and why women can't read maps" by Allan and Barbara Pease. It's very interesting, although some view it as sexist and pro-gender role. Although in the book, they're writing it from a scientific standpoint, not a social one. Besides - it's just interesting!

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  1. dea0914

    Men and their morals! Honestly i don’t get it too! I have girl friend who was kind of promiscuous before i met her, and according to her she was viewed very badly by others..They think of her as cheap and kind of a slut though that is not the truth. W e are in a world where men can do anything and get away with it while we women should always know our place. I remember reading a book where it says that in the past, men “should” have mistresses. If they don’t fool around, they are good for nothing. That was really weird i thought! _

    June 11, 2008
  2. anotherdaze

    I think many women have adapted to the males promiscuousness to prove they too can play the male “headgames”. Also I don’t know that women like sex any less than any men. Funny how the male whores are always the ones passing out all the “slut and whore” comments or lables for women.
    I say your the one that has to deal with what it is that you choose to do. It’s nobody elses business!
    Yes that survival mechanism data needs a bit of updating!

    June 13, 2008