Pretty bloody sick of it..

Well, contrary to what my previous blog said, I'll get back to you guys now as opposed to later. I had a good day today, I had Fez over, which I only permit if my Dad is going to be out of the house or if there is simply no other option. I can't bear putting poor Fez through the awkwardness and tensity of having to put up with me being constantly on edge because of Dad. It just so happened Dad had a gig today, and it's good when he's not around, because Mum is pretty lenient and very friendly, and loves Ezra like the son in-law he may be one day.  

Unfortunately, Lisa came to pick Fez up just as my Dad pulled up in the drive, which is very bad, because just yesterday, he decided out of spite for people in general, that Ezra's parents, particuarly Lisa, "aren't welcome in this house" anymore. I knew he never liked Lisa, or Jamie, but Jesus Christ Dad had too much sand in his vagina yesterday.

Lisa and Jamie aren't special, my Dad hates everyone, for no real reason at all. When Mum asked him why he hated Lisa & Jamie in particular, he just said, "*grunt* don't like 'em. Ezra's a nice lad, but not them, not the bloody parents." He seems to be able to stand Jamie, but not Lisa. If ever Lisa comes into my house to pick Fez up, Dad skulks off after sneering at her and grumpily grumbling "Hello", only to complain to Mum about her the second she leaves. Even if she rocks up at the doorstep to confirm what time she has to pick him up, Dad'll growl at me, "Ahh crap, she's coming in. Get rid of her.", so I have to despondantely block the doorway and brush poor Lisa off upon opening the front door and letting Fez in.

It's always been the same with Dad, no-one living with him as ever allowed to have anyone over, even his ex-wife, of whom he was with from when he as 19 until he was about 41. Very, very unhappy union, just like this one with my Mum. Luckily, his ex, Vivian, is very friendly and is now good friends with Mum, although Dad was extremely unhappy with it, just as he is unhappy with anyone being friends with Mum and I.

It's because he's a control freak. Always was. Won't listen to reason, either. Every time we try to stand up to him, he'll go nuts at Mum, thinking she's "not right in the head" and hitting her, and he'll try to make me go to bed or something. We can't get away, either, no relatives around, at least none that could support us. If we even tried to move out, Dad would certainly take us to court over it. Mum and I have hypothesized that they'd want to foster me out, as they wouldn't let a girl under 16 stay with her boyfriend, most likely, and I don't want that at all. Either way, I'm hoping Fez and I will last for a long time, because he's getting his house when he goes to uni, when Lisa and Jamie move out, and I said to him that the minute he gets that house, I'm moving in quicksmart. If that happens it'll be in a year and a half or so, I can put up with this for that long, probably, although it's all getting a lot worse lately. I just hope with everything I've got Fez and I last that long, although it doesn't really seem like we're going anywhere anytime soon, and we continually vow we'll never leave eachother, but shit does happen, you never know. I know we're just silly teenagers with no life experience and no clue, but we're still giving it our all. No question.

I remember ages ago I wrote a long, long blog about why and how my Dad is such an arsehole, and accidentally deleted it, God I wish I could get it back, I want to explain more because there's sooo much of it... Then again I don't want to bore you guys. I've released what I need to release anyway.

Until another day, ♥Mez
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Comments

  1. meredith

    I think it’s great that you are so aware that, no matter how much you love Fez right now, shit does happen and it might not last forever. It’s better than walking blind to the fact that life takes some huge turns sometimes. I also think it’s great that you are going to give it your all and I hope your “all” leads to a happily ever after with Fez. I have two friends from high school who are now married to their high school sweethearts and, at least from what I can tell, are still very much in love. Who says you have to be a “full fledged grownup” to find “the one”.

    I also admire you for being such a wise (there goes that word again) and stable woman despite such a lousy father! A girl after my own heart. Go you!!

    July 27, 2008
  2. EasyToSay

    I’m sorry that your Dad is that way.
    I know growing up my Dad was a little grumpy when we had people over, not rude, just grumpy. His house was and still is his castle and he works hard all day and wants peace and quiet.
    My Mum was the opposite, she wanted all my friends over all the time.
    I find myself like my Dad sometimes, but I never let it be seen.
    I am actually more like my Mum.

    Funny how we pick up on their traits.

    Hey if you move to Nunawading, we will definitely have to have a coffee one day! … McDonalds McCafe?? Maroondah Hwy? …

    July 27, 2008
  3. Mezlie

    TAJ – Yeah, Mum and I will be ok. We’ve dealt with this + a hell of a lot more for a long time, we can deal for a bit longer. Thankyou!

    Meri – You’re right, I can’t let love blind me and forget that shit does indeed happen and we may go our seperate ways, to think not would be naive. Still, thanks for the support, and your comments still enver fail to bring a smile upon my face.

    Easy – Yeah, I’m kind of like a bit of a Mum/Dad hybrid myself: I’m a very good communicator (like Mum) and like having friends over, yet I have a massive anger and insecurity problem and have shy, even anti-social tendencies (like Dad).

    It is funny, aye!

    And hell YES we’d have to have a coffee sometime! :P I think that Maccas you mentioned is like, a 10 minute walk from Fez’s house! XD If it’s the right one, there’s probably millions on that bloody road :P

    July 28, 2008