Judgmental?

Well, it's my second day on thoughts, and I just have 3 words to say about it..

I LOVE IT!!!!!

I just like this site's community so much better than other blogging sites out there, from what I've seen anyway. :P I usually go online and expect a load of negative crap being thrown at me about my blogs, but I didn't... So I'm happy with that (yes, I'm a terrible pessimist :P).

Again, I've come on today having nearly no idea what to write about, but I'm just gonna let it flow and see where it ends up... Hey, it worked out last time! :P

I woke up this morning two minutes before my alarm went off (my subconscious is a bitch to me, I swear! :P), got up after 10 minutes of thinking "Ugh... I'll get up later =.=", had a shower, fell asleep until 8:20, by which time I had to get ready in 10 minutes to get my lift to school (which is annoying). I got ready and my Dad snapped at me to get in the car... Driving to school with my Father's always fun. Everyone likes road rage and swearing every second word. -.-

After the 10-15 minute nightmare of a drive, I got out the car and caught sight of my tall, lanky friend Casey running across the pedestrian crossing to catch up with me. We walked past the group of other students smoking outside the office building and caught the lift up to our floor, the third floor. I stepped outside the lift, cast my eyes towards the sign-in register and saw an "enemy" girl standing there... I decided to wait until she left. "Enemy" girls (or boys) are basically people I classify as people I can't get along with, whom I'm usually intimidated by. I signed my name in, looked across a few metres to my left at my few friends sitting around the singular, circular table in the student lounge. I strode over, greeted them and pulled up a seat. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, a dratted "enemy" girl swaggered up and started yakking on to her friend at the table (completely ignoring any of us, quite thankfully) about her old friend joining the school soon, who came in for an interview that day. For a friend of this girl, called Minky, the "enemy" girl (this "enemy's" name being Kayla) had absolutely nothing good to say about her. However, 5 minutes after she showed up, I saw Kayla's face light up and she leapt out of her seat, running towards the sign-in registry squealing "MINKYYYYYY!!!!! :D" and grabbing her and lifting her up, seemingly overjoyed to see her "friend" at her school.

At that point I sat back and thought two things. One being: "What a sneaky little bitch..." The other being: "Why does she bother pretending to love her like a sister when she can't stand the sight of her?" Maybe they were in the same clique at their previous school and had to get along, maybe they're childhood friends, I dunno. I still think it's a little bit strange, but I'm sure if I knew why I'd understand.

About 20 minutes later in Literacy class, a few of my 5 classmates (yes, classes are tiny at ie Directions) brought up this Minky girl, and how the school supposedly wasn't letting in any more students... At this point I made the mistake of saying, "Well, she's good friends with Kayla, so that's not good news for us." At which point I got two of my friends exclaiming,
"Oh my god, Mollie, you haven't even met her and you're judging her! You judge people more than anything, man!" To which i replied,
"Well you guys know I'm a pessimist, so don't you start giving me shit about my paranoia!!" Yes, I'm upset rather easily when my views are challenged. They fell silent and my best friend at the school, Daniel, mumbled,
"We weren't giving you shit, we were just saying..." To which I just scowled. I guess it wasn't fair of me to immediately label Minky as a bad addition to the school, it's just that i'm the type that (stupidly) assumes people that hang around people I don't like will be turned against me, as I've mostly gathered from past experience - that and I'm just very paranoid.

I realised, since starting at ie Directions this year, that I'm alot more judgmental than I originally thought. I'm not sure if this is true, or if my friends don't know the actual meaning of the term, which wouldn't surprise me, most of them having learning difficulties of some description or just plain terrible at English. 

Dictionary.com defines judgmental as: 
1. involving the use or exercise of judgment.
2. tending to make moral judgments: to avoid a judgmental approach in dealing with divorced couples. 

I think my friends base this opinion of me, and a couple of my other friends, on the fact that we give our honest opinion (which is often harsh and/or critical) concerning other people at the school; and one of my friends especially, Rory, of whom is that type of person who just loves everyone and gets along with everyone, frequently scolds us in his heavily slurred voice "Hey man, don't say shit about him/her! He/she's nice as!" but are we really that criminal for merely having a negative opinion on some people? An example of a kind of "judgement" I make in regards to another goes something like:
"Hmm, she's not very nice to me... she judged me negatively and decided she hated me solely on what I did with Alex in February. I don't like her for that." Which is actually a real judgment of a girl at my school, I only judge people in a negative manner if they judge me in such fashion. It signals to me that if they're stupid enough to judge me on a fling I had 3 months ago, she can't be worth getting to know as a friend (to me, anyway). 

But isn't that human, to not react well to people that don't like you? Am I supposed to just go:
"Oh yeah, she doesn't like me because of something she heard from my trash-talking ex and judged me on it, but I don't care, she's the best! :D" Well, maybe I am... It's quite confusing.

I don't judge people on how they dress or what life they lead, only on how they behave towards me, and my friends. I can't seriously be expected to react well to people that don't react positively to me - that's bullshit. 

I think what my friend(s) meant by me being too "judgmental" was, more or less, me being too negative and bitchy. But, as I said, they suck at English, they wouldn't know the difference anyway. ^_^ 




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Comments

  1. Mezlie

    :O thanks for reading this blog too, Lol, you rock _
    Yeeah Kayla is pretty weird… She doesn’t like me but she respects me, which is good. “enemies” are really common, so it seems, aye :P

    And yes, we will try our best not to drown in judgementality. glub glub :P

    June 01, 2008